Sh!t my kid says…

As a parent of any toddler will tell you, kids say some crazy ass things. Not all of them we are proud of but we laugh behind their backs anyway because everyone knows it’s funny coming from a toddler’s mouth no matter what it is really…

1. Karter’s newest word is “Penis”, he will use it like “penis penis penis, mommy has a penis”. So wrong my dear you are. Which is then when we have to have a biology lesson, on how boys have a penis and girls have “guyna”.

2. “Pain in the ass” is one of his new favourites as well. As you can tell, he didn’t come up with it on his own. It’s a popular sentence of mine as well. He attends an art class once a week, last week he said goodbye to his teacher by telling her what a pain in the ass she is. So we are working on “pain in the butt” and just general kindness.

3. “shit”, yea he also says this one. But those are the only 2 swear words, promise! Haha

4. “Mommy, I’m so happy you home” this will always melt my heart. I can be gone for 2 minutes or spend the whole day at school and he is like a happy puppy so happy to see me at home.

5. If he is up to no good, like climbing on the living room table, I will walk into the room which he quickly jumps off and says “nothing happening on the table” sure kid, because that’s going to work. Another time nothing was happening was when he was going potty, he had flooded the toilet to the point where water was filling the washroom. Well if you asked him “nothing is happening in the bathroom”

6. If he really wants something from his Aunts, but they say no he will say “fine, mommy’s going to hit you”. I have no idea where this came from, I have never hit anyone in my life. But that’s toddler logic for you.

7. No matter what holiday it is, its always a birthday to Karter. Easter was “happy birthday Easter!” Mother’s Day was “Happy birthday Mommy’s Day!” It’s pretty adorable, if I must say so myself!

8. When his Aunts misbehave in a way he doesn’t like, he will send them to their room. “you bad, go to you room now”, that I find comical. He will sit and make sure they don’t get out either.

9. A popular phrase of Karter’s is also “but mommy said I could” when I actually had said the opposite or he hasn’t asked me at all!

10. Everything in a toddler’s life is dramatic. A conversation I had with him the other night “Mommy I have ice cream?” No Karter it’s almost bedtime, maybe tomorrow. “ugh don’t take away my life!!!” Seriously, I laughed as any normal person would. But for reals, my three year old just basically said I was ruining his life already.

Karter had been diagnosed with a severe speech probably when  he was 2 years old. He said maybe 5 words overall at that time. He has come such a long way, he is now speaking at a 5 year olds level. So when he says things now, it blows me away, he is insightful, compassionate and yes bad but what 3 year old isn’t?


One comment

  1. maddy · May 13, 2015

    hes so funny love it!


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