About a year ago I came across a blog, and the accompanying Instagram page,
If you haven’t checked out her blog, you should she’s incredible.
And her Instagram
I’m sure you’ve heard her story, her baby boy Ryan died last year unexpectedly.
Going through her Instagram and blog posts I cry, uncontrollably. It’s unimaginable, unbearable, every parents worst nightmare. I scrolled down to the posts when she still had her little boy with her I couldn’t help but find so many connections between her and I, and her relationship with Ryan and my relationship with Karter. Maybe its just being a parent. But I saw a woman who prides herself on being a mom, a woman who enjoys being home all day with her child, someone who loves doing crafts and various projects with their child. A mom, plain and simple.
I was crying seeing all these things she did daily with her son, they took a photo everyday before she sent Ryan to preschool, in his red shoes that were his favourite. Karter and I take these same photos but his are in his dinosaur shoes he loves so much. Karter says the same thing Ryan did “because they make me faster”.
Seeing this mother’s struggle for the month of May breaks my heart. She lost Ryan in May, and Mother’s Day is in May, she posted a photo of not wanting to get out of bed. I don’t even have words, I can’t even imagine, nor do I want to.
But this woman, she is an inspiration.
She posted again about switching out of her sweats and trading her sad face for a smile and getting back out into the world. She is carrying on, finding messages from Ryan everywhere she goes. This woman and her husband are incredible. Finding the strength to continue on in the face of their biggest tragedy and heartbreak.
I can’t express enough how truly touched I was by this woman’s and her family’s story.
I am crying writing this blog, I will get to cuddle my little boy tonight while he sleeps. Greeted by his hugs and kisses in the morning. I hurt for her, that is all she wants and can’t have.
After seeing all her Instagram posts and blog posts I appreciate my baby more than I did before (which I didn’t think was possible) but I will hug him a little longer everyday, and I make sure to tell him how much I love him.
Ryan, you may have been here a short time, but it is very clear you left a huge impact on your parents and now the world too. Rest in peace little dude ❤