Lets talk generation gaps, I am a young mom. I was 20 years old when I had my little boy. It was also 2012. My mother was in her 30’s and it was the early 90’s when she had her first. There are a lot of things we do differently when it comes to parenting. Even more so when my grandmother had her first baby that was in the 50’s. Naturally the two of them have many opinions and suggestions.
My mom was and is a great mom, always doing the best she can for my siblings and I. She managed to raise 5 kids. But I often find her saying “oh this generation, you all survived and are fine”. Yes we did, but there is a lot of things us parents now know that our parents didn’t.
We butt heads on car seats, co-parenting (I’m a single mom with joint custody), sharing things on social media, talking about parenting, among other things.
I was strict with Karter’s car seat the first year he was rear facing, chest clip up, belted in properly. And I looked into extended rear facing, it didn’t end up being for us. But I am still strict with his chest clip, and the tightness of his belt. If I see a child not properly belted in I say oh no I hope the mom knows how unsafe that is. Now my mom and my grandma see this very differently. My mom as a child never was in a car seat she would even sit in the front seat without a seat belt. Well my mom used car seats for my siblings and I and we rear faced but she never paid attention to the belt restrictions and the proper way to install a car seat. My mom will make comments like “oh don’t fuss over his car seat he’s fine you all lived”.
Ok sure yes we did, but maybe that was just luck, or my parents were skilled drivers but I choose not to take my chances I take the 30 seconds and ensure my child is properly belted in.
As anyone who co-parents together or separate you know communication is the single most important thing. We often have to consult each other on our child’s life. What school Karter attends, what daycare he is enrolled in, or consult on doctors appointments, haircuts, after school programs, sports programs the list goes on. It’s important to decide on these things together, and communicate. My parents must have done it differently because my mom finds it insane that I have to “report” so much back to Karter’s father. She would just go cut our hair, or take us to doctors appointments, put us in school, register for us for things then tell my father later. Sure I do the actual work of taking Karter to all these things but I usually run them by his father first, do I always like to? Honestly no. But I do it to keep the peace and keep things as mellow as possible for Karter. This my grandma doesn’t understand either, I don’t think either of them ever will. Their co-parenting was a whole lot different.
Social media is another thing my mother and grandmother won’t and don’t understand. My mom can’t fathom why I would ever share parenting struggles or pictures or anything with what she deems as strangers online. I try to explain to her I know the people on my list and I try to keep strict privacy settings but she doesn’t understand. I’m always taking pictures trying to document Karter’s life and be able to remember everything when I’m old while enjoying every moment with him. She doesn’t understand why I let people have an opinion on how I chose to parent my child. I don’t see it that way, I see it as seeking advice. Sure people give their opinions too but that’s just part of it.
My mom and grandmother won’t ever understand why I do things the way I do. Why I chose to parent the way I do. The generation gap is just to big that way. Things are different now, things will be different when I have grandkids. But no matter what generation we are or were, we will continue to be great moms.
Do you find a huge generation gap within your family??