I had wanted to discuss co-sleeping for sometime because it is a major part of my parenting, I just wasn’t sure how to approach it or introduce it. Then I recently came across an article online…
Ok, so back story on co-sleeping history. I have always co-slept with Karter. I have tried quite a few times to get him into his own bed, but he was waking up so often I just found it easier on myself to have him beside me (call me lazy, whatever. It helped me get more sleep). At three and a half he’s still in my bed and neither one of us has desire to change this. It may not be the most conventional method but it works for us. I am not sure when I will stop, right now getting him out of my bed isn’t a concern. We’re both comfortable. I don’t imagine having a 10 year old in my bed but who know’s.
Anyway back to my point, I was very surprised that none of the other panel members said they didn’t co-sleep or that they didn’t for more than a few months.
BUT what surprised me most, was the fact that her saying she co-slept with her son for an extended period warranted a debate.
As if there was something wrong with her choice to co-sleep for the length of time in which she did.
Bed sharing and co-sleeping is no longer an unusual concept, they actually sell co-sleeping devices and books to co-sleep or bed-share successfully. It is briefly discussed in the article that co-sleeping is no longer an unusual concept and that its actually quite popular in Great Britain for various reasons.
When I bring up the fact that I always have and still do co-sleep I receive mixed reactions. Some people are sympathetic, like I am somehow hurting myself by co-sleeping with him. Perhaps its a misconception that I get less sleep from it. When in actuality I get more sleep than I would if he was in his own bed. I mean yes, I’m exhausted, but its not from him sleeping next to me in bed.
Some people are outraged, like somehow I am wronging my child by co-sleeping either at all or for an extended period of time. I believe one woman said “you know he will develop mommy issues if he hasn’t already”. Well thanks for your input but I don’t think sharing a bed with my toddler will make him develop mommy issues. What does that even mean? Is it referencing future relationships? Like sharing a bed with me will somehow affect his future relationships. Or was she implying that I somehow love him too much? And that will have some sort of negative effect? Whatever lady, you’re entitled to your opinion I’m just choosing to not take it seriously.
Then there were the people who seemed to understand because they co-sleep as well or at least pretended to understand.
Here is just a few of our co-sleeping photos we’ve taken over the last 3 and half years
Everyone parents differently, none of us are the same. It’s easy for us to pass judgement on someone else’s parenting because we see our own as the more correct method of parenting. But we also need to remember that not all children are the same. Children have different needs or wants. Some children are special and require specific needs, and that requires unique parenting. Other children require a more strict form of parenting, or some require less guidance.
But we are all just trying to raise successful, level headed mature adults.
And its so much harder when we refuse to accept or acknowledge that there are different parenting methods.
You could just be straight up and say,
“oh hey, I noticed you weren’t going to discipline your child so I did it for you. You’re welcome. I will educate you as well on how to discipline your child. You know what, I’ll just show you how you should be parenting because your method just isn’t working for me”
It may take a village to raise a child but remember parents are human too, we’re still learning and growing as parents so try not to be so judgemental when you don’t agree with another parent.
Because I’ll say it again, adulting and parenting is hard.