The last 36 hours has been some of the most difficult I have experienced as a mother.
I handed my sweet 4 year old over to a nurse to be put under to have his tonsils and adenoids removed.
I had to smile and tell him everything was ok, as he screamed out for me until he disappeared down the hallway.
All the parents who experience this, or worse experience this on a regular basis; the stregth you have is incredible. I sincerely don’t know how you do it.
I’m sitting here crying even writing this, because it’s been so difficult to watch my child be in this much pain.
Is he drinking enough? Is he in pain? Is he eating enough? Is he swallowing his meds? Does he have a fever? Is he bleeding and I’m not noticing? Should I have pushed for him to stay in the hospital? Was he too young to have the surgery?
Just a few of the thoughts going through my mind right now.
And I know in just a few weeks he will be back to his normal, crazy self and life will return to its normal bliss. But not every child and parent gets it this way.
Sitting there and waiting what seemed like an eternity for his doctor to tell me he was ok and in recovery. I started to get really nervous at the 30 min mark.
What was taking so long? Where is my baby?
Finally I was able to go see him, seeing him after he had just woken up from the anesetic not only was it unsettling but it broke my heart.
So I feel selfish worrying this much when other parents have so much more to worry about.
But I will continue to worry, in reality I will worry my entire life because I’m his mom.
So basically this blog is a letter to the parents who have to struggle with these thoughts and seeing their children struggle on a regular basis. You are incredible, the stregth and courage you have to have for your children you deserve a medal and so much more!
This parenting thing, pretty spectacular even with the crazy worrying!